Wednesday, December 29, 2010

This " I AM " me.

It has been a crazy time during the last year. Change was coming fast and furious. I felt both excited and strangely full of a different kind of energy. I know there are some DNA changes going on within my body. I feel physically different. It is like I am growing into my highest self.
My sleep patterns are changing and I am getting the most restful, deepest sleep of my life. My dreaming has increased and I am experiencing very vivid visions. Many of them I share with you. My psychic ability has increased. It has always been a powerful force in my life and it astounds me that so much psychic growth has expanded recently.
I have put on 15 pounds in pretty short order and it is time to shed it. I am motivated now to do just that. Why the motivation comes roaring in at this time , I don't know...but I do know that I can feel it grabbing my attention.
My personal relationships are changing. I have been busy weeding my human garden. I am taking a very close look at who and what is in my life.
I am suddenly truly going with the flow of things now. I am seeing the messages that are being sent to me.
My creative urges have changed. I am seeing a spiritual painting before I paint it and that has never occurred before. My writing has evolved too!
Colors and details are more focused and brighter. It is quite a ride this spiritual me, this evolving me, this I AM me!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Hug, Hug, Hug...a Poem

I will hug a chair and I will hug the air.
I will hug the cat and I will hug my hat.
I will hug a tree and I will hug thee!
I will hug the sky and I will hug a pie.
I will hug a stream and I will hug ice cream.
I will hug a dish and I will hug a fish.
I will hug another tree and I will hug thee!

I will hug a king and I will hug a queen.
I will, hug, hug, hug and I will hug thee!

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Last Two Months.

It has been a strange surreal time this last two months. There have been some people from the past who have popped up in my life to say hello and talk about why they were no longer in my life. In every case I knew I had done the right thing by weeding my human garden. It is normal to wonder if we did the right thing and now I have total closure.
There have also been a few people who called me their friend and acted warm, loving, generous and helpful but when it came down to brass tacks these people were anything but and were removed from my life. One of these people turned out to be one of the most judgmental, sanctimonious, holier than thou women I have ever met. After being upset for a while it quickly passed and I was grateful she was no longer on my radar.
Three weeks later I received a call from someone I had tried to make contact with earlier this year. It turns out we have a lot in common and are both light workers and have had a lot of the same challenges. We connected on a different level as we spoke and it looks like this will be the person to fill the void.
I have also notice physical changes and emotional changes and I know this is all part of the ascension changes that are taking place. Everything is changing except for my life purpose. It is only growing stronger. It will soon be a brand new year and I can only guess at what is coming and I am so glad to be a part of it all.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Getting a Failing Grade In Home Economics

When I was a young teenager there was a class for girls called Home Economics where we were taught how to bake, sew, set a table etc. I hated this class because I was already doing these things and had been doing it for years and my great ability to do these things very well made the other girls shun me. I cooked, cleaned, mended and took care of my four siblings because I was the oldest. I was willingly and not so willingly my mothers helper.
All the responsibility chaffed at me and I felt bound to eternal chores. I felt that I would excel at this class but this was not the case. The problem was I could have taught the class. Everything was easy for me. My class mates were envious and since I was the new kid in school as was often the case, this was reason enough to bully and pick on me.
After a while I would turn in sloppy work or burn the cookies, thinking this would turn things around. It didn't. I failed the class. The other girls still did not accept me. My teacher sat me down and asked me why I was doing so well at the beginning and then was unproductive as she put it.
I told her I was already doing all these things at home and had been for years and the class was a mistake for me. I said that there was nothing she could teach me that I didn't already know. She got huffy and told me that I would receive a failing grade for her class and I did.
Not too long after that my family moved again. I have thought back to that class and realize now that I should have allowed myself to do well at that class and get the well-deserved A. Because of other peoples opinions and my desire to be accepted. I bowed under peer pressure and did the opposite and got an F in the process.
So this begs the question, "how many times do we show ourselves as less than we are simply to fit in?" No matter what the circumstances are we must do our best and shine
even if it makes someone else uncomfortable. Maybe if I had fit in with these girls I may have found a bunch of girls that may have led me down the wrong path. I have learned through the years that accepting and loving myself is one of the things I had to do to come to a sense of peace in this world.
God has given me so many gifts and I am going to unwrap all of them before this physical life is over.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


It is almost Christmas 2010 and I am reflecting back over this past year. It has been a year of growth, acceptance and letting go. It has been a year of allowing things to unfold for me and completely trusting in God. What I have discovered is that anything negative I hold onto becomes a much bigger issue for me because I am not in complete trust that my creator will take care of it once I have opened my heart and just release it into the universe.
It is as if God says, "okay you do whatever it is you need to do and when it doesn't work, I will be waiting for you to hand it over to me. My patience is infinite."
I am getting better and better and handing it over. God always has all the answers.

Let the Chips Fall

Do what you do with compassion and grace, and let the chips fall where they will. Do whatever you do with excitement and a sense of joy and adventure. Do whatever you do as though there is no tomorrow for you and that whatever you do is on your last day. What do you want people to take away from your life?
None of us know when we will draw our last breath but we know it will happen. Here is the math. There is only one you and you have this unique life opportunity in which to be totally you! If you aren't totally you during this lifetime that is a gift to you, chances are that you will live your entire life not being you!
There is no pain quite like the pain of missed chances, actions not taken and words not spoken. It is a hard thing to be you at times but it is far easier when you do it with compassion and grace and a sense of joy and adventure.

Let go and allow yourself to live your life...
Be clear about what IS important!
Be clear about what NEEDS to happen!
Be clear about what you WANT to do!
Your life will unfold around that vision and sense of direction that YOU created!

The Crazy Ups and Downs of Friendship

During this past year I have experienced what I am sure many of you have and that is serious disappointment with friendships and relationships and all the craziness that can ensue.

There is no getting around it, there will be times that we will let down the people we care about and they will let us down as well. There are deal breakers that come up that are unacceptable but the smaller things seem to have become big things for so many people and I will try to shed some light on these other things and give a spiritual outlook on all of this.

I think the first thing would be for each person in turn to define clearly what friendship is to them and what you expect. This would be an eye opener for you when you find that in a lot of cases you may simply be expecting too much perfection from another person when you aren’t perfect yourself. None of us are!

With me, this perfection is expected more than most because I am a spiritual teacher and a member of the clergy. This puts me in a precarious position when it comes to befriending people and allowing them into my private space and daily life. Too many times I am put on some kind of pedestal and I do not want to be there. I do not insist on someone using my title of reverend and in fact do not make it a big deal at all. It is other people who make it a big deal. I am not a celebrity nor do I wish to become one.
As a child, my family moved around a lot and as a result of that I never had any close friends. I was always hungry for a friend that I could be with to share who and what I was. So, in retrospect I realized when I became an adult that I was Not very selective when it came to picking a friend, if they befriended me that was enough.

Through the earlier years I had some real weird friendships. I also had some extremely hurtful ones. Looking back I arrived at the conclusion that most of them were co-dependant just like my mother and father. They were all I had as role models. I learned at the heavy knees of serious dysfunction. Monkey see, Monkey do!

I have grown a lot on discernment but I, like everyone else needs a friendship that is sustaining and real. I came to a realization that life being what it is, that this would be one of the biggest challenges of all. I thought it would be death, judgment or betrayal, etc. What I have come to know is all the other challenges are tied to relationships in all its many forms and definitions.
For a while it was starting to feel as though I was detoxing from negative relationships/friendships. Are there any Friendship Anonymous Groups out there? Maybe there should be!
Now don’t get me wrong I have had some wonderful friendships along the way but I have also learned that not everyone in your life is supposed to be there for the rest of your life.
It would be real crowded at the dinner table if this were true.

People keep showing up and doing exactly what they are supposed to do to show you something, teach you something and point the way back to the purest essence of self. All my relationships that I had previously labeled bad were not in fact bad at all. They were a blessing and what had happened was for my greatest and highest good and theirs but it is my journey and not theirs I concentrate on.

Now, when something happens that breaks my heart and drags down my spirit instead of retaliating and becoming angry, I retreat into myself in prayer and meditation and ask the question, “What am I supposed to know about me and for me?” I ask to see the blessings that are there. I want to do this as fast as possible and not arrive to a conclusion years later. I simply don’t want to drag around all the hurt for years. Talk about living in the past. I want to live, learn and move on and become a better, wiser and more enlightened soul. I want to embrace my power. I do not want to be bitter and full of resentment at something I feel has been done to me. I see it spiritually as something that happened for me, not to me.

I utilize the spiritual tools of introspection, solitude, meditation, prayer and allow myself to look inward to carry me forward out of any darkness and into the light. I do not want to fuel a negative situation with more negative energy. It takes practice and a commitment to the process to just “Let Go,” after you know what you need to know. Accept it and move on.

This is the way to your higher self and God. This is the road to what is called Mastery.
Becoming the master of your life is something that when started…one step leads to a more powerful one and so on. It is addicting in a peaceful sense. You are then no longer a wonderer but rather a “Knower.”

Visualize with me for a moment and imagine a train trip that you are on. You start in a place that is dirty and dark with almost no scenery that brings you joy. The train takes off and as you watch the scenery out the window it gets gradually more beautiful and full of life with clear blue skies and thousands of trees and waterfalls. Occasionally it goes through a dark tunnel and pops out the other side and the scenery gets more incredible, as your eyes drink it all in, your heart swells with happiness. Soon another tunnel ahead and maybe this one is darker and scarier for a bit and then just as before it pops out very quickly to the other side blasting you with beauty and peace and knowledge of what you just experienced.

I am describing the spiritual journey of a committed seeker. If this is not you then this is something to think about. WWW.MAKEACHOICENOW.COM