Friday, November 4, 2011
The Gift Of Anger!
There seems to be an abundance of people who do not respect boundaries and when a boundary is clearly defined they still walk all over the rights of other people.
So, even setting a boundary is not effective because they have a sense of self entitlement to their needs and not others needs. They use your things without asking and even get offended if they do ask and you say no. Their ability to nurture and care for others is very slim.
They try and take over, your space, the conversation and indeed your life if they can. In their minds, they always know better than anyone else. What you think is not an issue to them, it is all about what they think.
They will be constantly correcting and pointing out to you how you are wrong and they are right...and make no mistake about it, they are always right!
The normal courtesies and mutual respect for other people simply do not apply to them.
Being clear about what you will and will not tolerate goes right over their heads.
After a time, you will be forced to make a decision in finding other ways to enforce your boundaries that are stronger because these people in many cases just don't care what you think and want. It is all about them and no one else.
If you are normally a person of peace who tries all the spiritual methods of dealing with a person like this, it can be a real challenge to step out of the spiritual mind for a bit and deal with this from an entirely different level.
These people do not make friends, they take hostages. The hostage will eventually rebel and walk away and have nothing more to do with them.
If you have someone like this in your life that is in your inner circle of family , friends, etc., You have probably put up with this for a longer time than most, trying everything you could think of to make the relationship work to no avail. You have even nicely let them have it more than once and maybe things changed for a bit but went right back to the status quo.
Here you are in the thick of it and and stomach is churning and you feel yourself on edge, I have a suggestion for you...allow yourself to get angry! Yep. you heard me right, get royally pissed because you have a right to be upset. Even what we people on the spiritual path would normally call a negative emotion, can be a gift if you look at it in a new light. This emotion is clearly telling us there is something we must change something and pay attention to and at that point it becomes all about you and not them.
I am not advocating throwing dishes or getting weapons of mass destruction out, what I am saying is to express the anger and let it rip out into the atmosphere. Express it. Holding it in is simply not good. It is said...and I believe it to be true that depression is nothing more than anger turned inward. I advocate speaking your truth but doing it in the right way and there are times when speaking our truth just might be verbal expression of anger. Imagine for a moment that the person in question is standing right in front of you and you suddenly, loudly and forcefully say, "NO!" Now, you have to admit just the thought of that felt good. Consider that you said it three times quickly and forcefully. It will be so quiet that you will hear a pin drop after you verbalize what is in your heart and energy field. Just saying that word is empowering. For me I have found it very effective and I will not ignore my anger. It is truly a gift.
In whatever context that someone is not respecting you in any way and you feel angry, pay close attention and remember you cannot change any one else, you can only change yourself! When you start learning new ways to be in this world, you have the support of God and the entire force of the universe assisting you in making changes.