I seriously think that unless someone is a suicide survivor that they should not be able to voice their opinion on suicide without a disclaimer stamped on their forehead proclaiming "Caution: This person is not a suicide survivor and therefore should not be opening their uneducated mouth". This may sound a little harsh, but as a suicide survivor, I have come across one too many people who shoot off at the mouth, talking about how suicide is a "selfish act" and whatever other controversial statement that they let flow freely from their mouth. I have even had one person straight out tell me my husband was in hell because of what he had done. Are you kidding me?
Life is an education, giving us lessons everyday. As we learn those lessons it is our job to teach others who have not learned the same things. So when someone tells me my husband is in hell, it is my job to make them understand that when someone makes the choice to take their own life, they are feeling so much inner turmoil that they do not feel there is another choice. Suicide is not a joke, not something someone decides to do because they are feeling selfish one day or because they want to commit a sin. Suicide is the end result of a long unfulfilled journey, a journey where one searches frantically for peace, a peace that is the only thing that will heal the severe troubles of the mind. One day, that journey becomes too much, the troubled mind takes over the right mind and suicide becomes the only option for peace. Is this unforgivable? Who are we, as people who can sleep at night and wake up in the morning feeling good, who are we to judge how one finds peace?
The only sin that comes along with suicide is the people who speak before thinking, who believe that God punishes those who have already spent a lifetime punishing themselves. These are people who are so mentally sick with sadness and depression that they are willing to do anything they possibly can to be free of that, and who the hell are we to judge their way of finding peace.
My husband chose suicide. Do I think he was selfish and horrible to leave his family? No, I think of it this way: If he was hurting so much that just waking up everyday was bringing him mental anguish, if he felt there was no other way out and the only light at the end of the tunnel was through suicide, then I have to be at peace with his decision. If I was to spend my life condemning him and being angry at his "sin" then I would be the selfish one. God is merciful, and those who speak out about suicide in terms of it being a sin should remember that.
I also want anyone out there who is contemplating this act to remember that the people they leave behind will suffer greatly. There will always be the question of what could I have done or not done to prevent this. It also leaves behind a message that this is an option when the going gets too tough. The percentage of suicides in family members goes up when someone sets the tone for the rest of them. This is not the example you want to set.
I have two words for you if you are thinking of this and that is...GET HELP! Do not suffer in silence.
This makes my heart want to cry endless tears, I know exactly how he must have felt just days before he decided to crossover. I have never told anyone, including you, I was to that point many, many years ago. I would drive down the road and think how I could run into a tree or into the river and make it look as if it were an accident. Yes, that is just how dark my life WAS at one time, not any longer, the sun shines everyday for me.
ReplyDeleteLove to you,
Pat
Diannia, when you first posted this, I KNEW I didn't want to look. The pain energy coming off of that original post link was enough that I couldn't even look at it until this morning. Most people tend to fall to their most base animal instincts when it comes to dealing with suicide or even suicide survivors. The reason is because because the behavior is a self protective measure to reinforce to ourselves that this is NOT AN OPTION. I don't think I've ever met a spirit who didn't at one time or another really think that they were really thinking about it. Life can be extraordinarily difficult, and as they say, "the flesh is weak".
ReplyDeleteAs for myself, I have always taught that if there is foul tasting "medicine" of life lessons that we have to take, it's much better if we take it ONCE. The lessons that we are expected to attend to in this life are mandatory. We are always able to opt through our own free will to stop the course, and retake the "class", but do we really want that? There is no sin in dropping out of class. There is only the pain we leave in others as a direct result of trying to ease our own pain with such a "solution". Ultimately, the costs involved in the pain to those who love us, those who are unaware of how much they depend upon us and the cost of having to REPEAT all the life lessons we've already passed far outweigh the appeal of a quick and easy release. This is what I believe and teach. I hope you are as much at peace as you can be with such a difficult lesson, and you know I am always here for you when you need to talk.
Love Chiron