Wednesday, March 17, 2010

You don't need to stand in the corner any longer



Sometimes an inner struggle takes on the proportions of a war, creating literal inner hell. These conflicts can generate considerable internal damage and lead to emotional problems like depression or the physical breakdown we know as disease.

Your inner child is not being contrary. It is just that she holds a different perspective on life than you do. If as child you felt unloved for example, she will hold a view of herself, life and the world that is skewed. A child does not have the capacity to sort out that her mother has repressed sexual issues and that her father was never encouraged to openly express his emotions or her grandmother is an alcholic. All a child knows is that she hurts and that the love that she needs isn’t there. And then, she makes what I call THE FATAL STEP, which every child takes. She says, “The love that I need isn’t here, there must be something wrong with me.” The safety zone is gone and carries over.

In that moment, the downward spiral begins.

She has come to believe that the difficulties were either created by her or that they were created in response to her. She will not realize that she is just an innocent child caught in a dysfunctional situation. All she knows is that something – and she won’t know what – is wrong with her. Instead of remaining with the family situation where it was created, the dysfunction is now a part of her. She has come to believe that the problem was at least in part, created by who she was. Since she was in some way responsible for what happened, she will then carry her defectiveness with her wherever she goes. Thus she will be driven to compensate for her failings as she grows up and moves out into the world.

This will inhibit her ability to be free in life and requires that she take defensive measures in order to protect herself. She will be isolated from her passion, from her power, from her self-confidence. Making the situation even more difficult is that the injured inner child who holds the defective attitudes is hard-wired into the adult’s power. She can pretty much do as she pleases and there isn’t a lot the adult can do about it.

So today, you want to take a risk and she panics. You want to become intimate with someone and she is overwhelmed by the fear of being rejected. You want to deal with your inner pain and she fears the kind of overwhelm that she felt when she was a child.

You want to be successful in your business and she cannot permit that kind of public exposure so as the adult you have a fear of success. And as if that weren’t enough, she has the power to totally dominate your life. You have your wit, wisdom and intellect, but when it comes to emotionally charged situations, the child takes over. That is her domain. And the person who takes over is a powerless, vulnerable, scared, defective, unloved, hurting, emotionally challenged child. Back then, the world was dangerous. Big people could not be trusted. Guess what is going to happen today? You try to run your life and she keeps pulling the rug out.

It is vital that you work at understanding and healing that inner child so you can become a fully functioning adult. If you are struggling this just may be all you need to be whole. Where there is knowledge there is the absence of fear.
www.makeachoicenow.com ladydiannia!makeachoicenow.com

1 comment:

  1. Straight to the point today, I had forgotten, or thought I had, that that little girl in me was gone forever until I read this piece. Sitting here trying to read with tears streaming down my face, I knew she is still with me, and probably always will be here, somewhere deep inside until something such as this brings her out. I just do not like facing this is the reason I hide her so well.

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