Breaking Bitterness

Breaking Bitterness
Rev. Diannia Baty © 2008


I observe that most people don’t have a flavor of life. They don’t taste the sweetness in life and only savor the bitter. What you savor is what your life will become. I ask you this question. Why do you constantly taste the bitterness of life? Bitterness may be a habit with you.

For example: if you always use certain words in your speech then they become a part of you, if you start walking and favor your right leg then you will always favor your right leg, if you start chewing on your lip when you get nervous then you will always chew on your lip. My point is if you always concentrate on the bitterness of life then you will always have just the bitterness of life. It has become a habit and not a very good one.

Life then becomes bitter and everyone and everything around you becomes bitter too. What bitter habits do you have spiritually? What are you doing or not doing that is causing everything around you to become a struggle? There are so many ways that you do this and I will attempt to point some out. I also would like to point out to you that in time if you don’t become aware of these nasty habits, your soul and heart become soured.

The truth is in your heart of hearts you are aware of what your words or actions do. How many times have you said to yourself that if you take a certain action or say a certain thing that it will turn out badly?
You see, you already know what the outcome is going to be but you do or say it anyway. Why do you do it? If you are honest with yourself there are only a few possible answers.

1. You get some kind of power-trip payoff.
2. You don’t know another way.
3. You know another way but have become too embittered.
4. You don’t care anymore.
5. You are right and they are wrong.
6. You like bumping into brick walls.
7. You are addicted to emotional pain.
8. You know of another way but think you can’t do it.
9. You don’t think you deserve to be happy.
10. You think that this is the way life is supposed to be.
11. You are carrying anger issues around.
12. You are unforgiving of others and yourself.
13. Bitterness has become your identity.
14. You are not embracing spiritual awareness.
15. You have lost your connection to God.
None of the above has peace in it at all. I think you can see that.

Bitterness is pervasive. If you have this feeling in your soul, it is like a cancer and it will grow and spread into your consciousness until everything becomes bitter. You will be so embittered that you feel it immediately upon getting up in the morning. You will not feel healthy no matter what you do. Your sleep will be fitful and your breakfast will not be tasty to you. It has now lost its flavor to bitterness. When you are bitter you can’t stand being around happy content people. Indeed when you are around them you find that bitter statements come out of your mouth. You try to instill your bitterness into them. After all, misery truly does love company.
Bitterness is similar to depression but with an interesting twist. It is an after taste of anger. I have said to some that depression is simply anger turned inward. Bitterness is another display of depression. Bitterness is simply anger disguised. If bitterness were a color, it would be gray…nothing but gray. The good thing about this color is that it is a combination of black and white, so if you are a bitter person you can still pull your spiritual rabbit out of the hat.
Life does not need to be like this. Get out of your head and your life out of the bitterness vise. When you are in this negative human vibration, it feels as though you are in this big box, unable to get out.




You can do too much thinking, analyzing and mulling over just about anything.
Life starts passing you by and gets buried under all the thinking until you don’t know what the point is anymore.

Negative thinking requires a focused concentration that stagnates your abilities and bypasses peace. After a period of time it requires no more thinking. It becomes a part of you and indeed it is your default emotion. You have programmed and conditioned your brain. Whoops! Back up. Do you really want to do that? Have you ever noticed that when you are in a negative thinking or feeling mode that you can do this for hours? You sit in a chair and at some point have to get up and go to the bathroom or to get a glass of water and an hour or two have passed. Sometimes, you can loose a whole day. You say to someone in conversation that you lost a day…you were thinking about things or trying to get your head right. Actually, you were getting your head wrong. Even after an experience of losing an entire day, you felt only worse. You are not in the moment or the divine now at all. There is no peace or joy. Any emotion or feeling can be programmed to be your default setting. This is how we are designed. You do it by choice…it is not done to you.

Most people live their lives like robots with a panel of buttons to push for default reactions for anything that happens to them…good or bad. Living your life on automatic pilot causes a death of spirit. It makes you feel unreal because you have in fact become unreal. When you are this way most people who know you can predict with eerie accuracy how you will react to just about any situation.

I have been widowed twice in my life. The first time this happened I was twenty -one years old…the second I was 50. The second time I was widowed was a terrible night of darkness and shock. It felt like being plunged headlong into a surreal abyss. I had been married to this sweet gentle man exactly 10 months. His name was David. He seemed to be settled and calm and had been working for the same company for 35 years. He had a brother and a sister and two nephews. His mother was still alive and he visited her without fail every
week and I encouraged this. He was generous and loving and I felt like he was the perfect man but I am here to tell you that no one is perfect. All during the time we were dating I never detected what was to unearth itself after we were married.
It became painfully clear after we were married that he was a very bitter man. He was bitter about a divorce that had taken place 10 years earlier because of a check he had to write to his ex every month. It wasn’t a large amount but he was very angry about it. He was bitter at his brother’s successful business and his huge sprawling home. He was bitter because his brother had two sons. David had no children. All this bitterness expressed itself in different ways. If he dropped a dinner fork he would get upset. I was subjected to his bitter comments and judgments that were used often in his speech and actions. I was not a happy camper. Eventually with a little detective work and gentle questions I was able to unravel the secrets and the course of his life. He had been advised by friends to tell me these secrets before we were married but he thought it would not matter or so he told himself. The real part or should I say the unreal part of his personality was manifesting itself. You can hold a false face for only so long.

I never knew when in a flash of a second his bitterness would show itself. It was not an easy way to live. I suggested therapy and then I insisted on it as a condition of me staying. There is so much to this story but I came home one day a little later than usual and he was nowhere in the house. I couldn’t find him. I turned on the light in the double garage to see if his car was there and I saw him lying on the floor with just his boxers on. I went to him thinking he had passed out and that is when I knew he was dead. He had killed himself with a shotgun. It was a horrible dark night and one that I will never forget. His bitterness had driven him over the edge and he was gone. The bitterness had infiltrated his soul until he felt that it was the only way out. He had been seeing his therapist for only one month or so I thought. I later found out that he had been seeing a therapist for years. Once again, I was stunned.

Can extreme bitterness come to this? Yes, it can but not always.
Most people just live out their years this way and make everyone around them miserable as well.





Some people become so identified with their emotions that it destroys the fabric of their lives and in some cases destroys the person. People self medicate these issues with alcohol, drugs, gambling and other things to numb the emotions but it always returns.
There is only one way to reverse or repair this agony and that is to be in touch with your spiritual self and to be in constant contact with God. That is the only way to know peace…the only way.

Be still and know that I am God has no disclaimers. It is that simple and that beautiful. Gratitude, meditation, prayer, and commitment to the process are the way to freedom and out of the box. It is the only way out of the dark nights of the soul. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not the train coming at you unless you believe it is.

God desires the greatest and highest good for you. Honor that and know that you are a part of this divine spiritual energy force. What you think you become…stop being a robot with default settings and decide to use the higher vibration thought and emotions that come from your source.

Are you ready for another way that works? Talk to God and remember to never give up! It is time to empty your cup of bitterness.
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