Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I Am Diannia and I Am Worthy


I am full of ideas and information and creativity flows through me like water from mountain top. It has not always been this way and I wonder what my life might have been like had I started all this writing, teaching and spiritual stuff sooner, but I didn't and that is okay.The earlier part of my adult life was crap and a lot of it. I lived many lifetimes before I was forty. In fact I lived many lifetimes before I was twenty one.
There was so much trauma, drama and death that I hardly caught my breath when another thing slammed me into the ground and sent my already shaky world spinning. Somehow, I always managed to pick myself up and go on but there were many times I did not want to go on. Life just seemed to be so darn hard for me and the effort was difficult.

Pain and struggle was always lurking nearby and it seemed the demons of darkness were always nipping at my heels.I suffered mightily. There was very little happiness and joy. It was so sporadic and short lived that I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to fall.

I asked God on many occasions why my life was so overwhelmingly hard? The answers never seemed to be forthcoming and in fact I thought in the overall scheme of things, God had forgotten me.I thought I was not worthy enough for the creators attention. When people prayed around me at a dinner table or in all the churches I attended as a child I felt very out of place and almost embarrassed at my presence.
It was awkward and I felt like a fake who would be called out at any moment. I
felt banished from what I thought were the true loved ones of God.It was all so confusing and I felt like the red headed step child at a family reunion.

Just what were they doing that I wasn't doing? Why was I so different? Why didn't I fit in anywhere? I even looked different. I was very tall and thin and towered over all my classmates in school.

I have discovered that I am unique, creative, lovable,
attractive, strong, loving, witty and intelligent. I am fine just the way I am in this moment.I am an awesome creature. What a way to be in this world but not of it.
www.makeachoicenow.com

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